As a society we’ve been conditioned to believe that joy is some weird blissed-out state, unicorns, rainbows, skipping kids, sunny days etc.  So it’s no wonder we are a little lost in this search for joy.

Reality is, joy is one of many emotions that we can experience.  Whilst some of the things I mentioned above can evoke feelings of joy, the emotion itself is not all unicorns and rainbows.  

Contrary to popular belief, joy can actually feel uncomfortable.  Whenever you are focusing on something that gives your life meaning, and ignites a fire in your belly, you are experiencing joy.   

When you pursue these things, it’s joy that pushes you to work harder, try harder, be willing to make mistakes and pick yourself up again after a failure.  

So what are some ways you can start to cultivate more joy in your life?

1. Learn to let go – let go of the past, let go of trying to control the present, let go of unrealistic expectations of yourself and/or others, and let go of fears and grudges and disappointments.   Allow yourself to appreciate the little moments that make life meaningful. 
2. Take the mask off and be yourself – give yourself permission to embrace all of your weirdness and quirks.  Learning to accept yourself, warts and all, and being kinder to yourself when things go wrong, will increase your enjoyment of life, resilience and well-being. 
3. Take action – joy is not going to knock on your door one day (unless you have a friend called Joy).  Get out of your head and into the present moment.  Suffering exists in the mind.  Rather than spending lots of time thinking about all the things that are going wrong, choose to take action towards things that used to bring a smile to your face, try something new, and do those things that make you feel excited and fulfilled.

Life is messy, challenging and painful.  That is inevitable. 

However, the more focus we give to our negative life situations, the more we will be left feeling exhausted, resentful and fearful.  The choice on how to respond to challenges is in your hands.  

If you would like to speak with RAW, please call our 24/7  help line on 1300 4357 6283

 We all experience tough times in life, and at times, it can feel as if the whole world is collapsing in on you.  Life can hand us some curveballs and no one can have it all together all of the time. 

Think of it this way.  What do you do when you notice that your tractor or vehicle isn’t running well?  Do you ignore the problems and hope they fix themselves?  Or, do you pull over and check out the issue?  Do you regularly maintain your vehicle?  Do you rotate your tyres and ensure they have the right amount of pressure in them?  Do you ensure the radiator has enough water?  Do check the oil?  

We are no different to our vehicles. That means that there are things we can all do to keep us on an even keel, even when life is really rough. 

Here’s some of our favourite wellbeing actions: 

• Stay active (working outdoors, walking the dog, taking the kids to the park, playing a sport etc.)
• Take control of the things within your control (finances, physical ailments, contingency planning etc.)
• Make space for downtime, friendships and family
• Eat a healthy, balanced diet
• Find time to laugh
• Surround yourself with positive and kind people
• Get a good night’s sleep – Regularly!

So, what happens if you keep ignoring the signs that you’re struggling with your mental health and wellbeing?

Well, to be honest, you wouldn’t be the first person to try this.  

Unfortunately, the ripple effects gets larger and larger, the longer we keep ignoring, minimising, or pushing away our painful experiences.  Over time, stress and pressure will manifest in physical issues such as pain, heart disease, digestive issues etc… The decision is ultimately in your hands.  

Do you still feel like there’s shame and failure associated with reaching out for help? 

We know from experience that the greatest stigma you will face is from yourself.  People who care about you want you to feel good.  Just because you are doing it tough, doesn’t mean that you are not capable.

You are in the driver’s seat!

• You get to choose who you tell, and how much you say
• You get to choose what is right for you
• You get to choose what actions you take when working with professionals

Where to turn to help?  Our RAW Connect team are here to help you take the first steps towards reaching out for help. 

Please call 1300 4357 6283

When it comes to ourselves however, there seems to be an assumption that the opposite works better.  When we are experiencing a challenge or a tough time, we tend to believe that self-criticism will motivate us to do better, and choosing to be kind to ourselves is weak or worthless. 

The thoughts we have about ourselves and the way we speak to ourselves is called self-talk.  Most of our thoughts happen on autopilot, and we often feel like we have no control over them.  Our self-talk is shaped by life experiences, other people, personal beliefs and our interpretations of events.  Most of us have experienced some major challenges in life, and as a result, we may have picked up a harsh internal dialogue filled with judgements, shame and blame.  It’s important to recognise that just because you talk to yourself in a certain way, it doesn’t mean that those thoughts are factual, accurate or even helpful.   

Self-kindness is treating oneself with kindness and care, like we would a close friend.   

For those who are not convinced that being kind to yourself has a positive impact on your mental health and wellbeing, here’s a few reasons why you might give it a try. 

• Self-kindness improves your mental health by counteracting the comparison trap and those pesky feelings of inadequacy.  We are all flawed and we all have strengths and weaknesses.  

• It helps you be kinder by developing greater understanding, compassion, and empathy. 

• It helps you regain power from critical or judgemental people, as we don’t tend to believe their criticisms as easily. 

• You will naturally become more optimistic and positive. 

I would like to invite you to tune into your self-talk over the next week and notice how you speak to yourself.   

• How often do you criticise yourself? 

• How do you talk to yourself when you make a mistake? 

• Do you judge certain emotions like sadness, fear or anger? 

• Do you praise yourself for the things you do well? 

• Do you acknowledge your strengths? 

Self-kindness will not eliminate negative thoughts or uncomfortable feelings, but it will assist you to overcome challenges with more ease. Developing self-kindness is a key habit to better improve your mental health and resilience. 

If you would like to talk to someone about this or any other challenge you may be experiencing call RAW Connect on 1300 4357 6283.